I have officially lost my mind.
I have taken to telling complete strangers, complete lies.
Here is what happend.
I got my Dish Network bill in the mail and it had a $10.00 late fee, the bill was twice the usual rate and said that they never received my check from last month.
I figure there must be some mistake, as I did in fact pay that bill and send a check. So I decide to call the Customer Service Line and work it out-BAD idea!
First: It took 6+ minutes for me to explain to the fake man on the phone what I wanted to do.
He says he'll transfer me.
I get cut off.
6 more minutes of talking to the fake man.
Then I hold for 7 minutes. I am not upset yet, but things are brewing.
Dish Network: Hello, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
blah=all the words I could not understand because I swear they weren't in English.
How can I help you?
Me: Yes, there was a little problem with my bill and I just want to see where the mix up was.
Dish Network: Of course Mam, and to whom am I speaking.
Me: Angie
Dish Network: Okay Miss Angie, what is the trouble?
Me: On my current statement it says that you never received my payment for last month.
Dish Network: Excuse me Mam, who am I speaking with again.
Me: Angie
Dish: Are you Mrs. Byram?
Me: Yup.
Dish: Is your name by chance James?
Me: Nope, it's A-n-g-i-e (I didn't spell it out, but I said it slowly and annunciated)
Dish: Well Mam, it looks like you are not the primary account holder, so I can not give you any information about this account.
Now that I see why he wanted my name, I know I am going to get nothing accomplished. This is where it takes a turn for the worse.
Me: Well, I just need to know how much to make this check out for, that I am going to mail today ;)
Dish: Sorry, you aren't the primary account holder and I can't give out information.
Me: Oh please, I just need to know what I owe you, that's all.
Dish: Nope. Sorry, I will need to speak with James, then he can authorize you on the account.
Me: Well, James isn't here.
I know that Vince is never home, and it will take quite a long time for him to actually call them to find this out for me, and I really wanted to know what I owed! And by now, I am not happy.
Dish: Maybe he could call us later.
Me: I am the one who pays the bill, so can't you just tell me what I owe?
Dish: No.
Me: Just ask me all the questions you would James, to verify he is the account holder. I know the account number, his social, and all his passwords. Just ask me the questions, I promise I know the answers.
Dish: No. I need to talk to James.
I LOSE IT.
Me: Well..... what if James died?
I totally said this as a joke, and partly to see what he would say.
Dish: I am sorry for your loss, but I can't give you anymore information. Okay Mam, have a nice day.
Click- He totally hung up on me.
Moral of this story: Hang up before you make a total fool of yourself.